Them other monsters don't know how to dance . . .

I guess they really bringin' Nessie back?

hello hello hello

been ages, been crazy, been busy, been bored, been tired, been swamped and basically, haven't had time to write. so here goes.

and, that's it.

he gets the ultimate smackdown

ok, so I'm not a fan of wrasslin' but maybe now I will be, now that I have a contender that looks like me (although he may not sound, or think, like me). asians and asian-americans alike can now empathize with the newest contender in the WWE and I'm happy that me and Jimmy Wang Yang share a common heritage. great job, vince, for trying to expand the market for the WWE in this here yoonited states.

sammy, of sammy's halal

so yesterday I managed to snag an exclusive interview with Sammy, proprietor of four halal "street meat" food carts around nyc. I had the combo meal about a week ago and had just recommended it to my sister yesterday so it was on my mind. On the way home, I stopped off at the Jackson Heights location (the original, apparently) for the lamb and chicken combo and spoke with the 2006 Vendy award winner. The complete transcript follows:

Me: So, uh, lemme get a combo.
Sammy: You want the chicken and lamb together?
Me: Yeah.
Sammy: Hot sauce, white sauce?
Me: Yeah, extra hot sauce.
Sammy: You sure?
Me: Yeah.
Sammy: Okay my friend, five dollars.
Me: Thanks a lot.

I gave him my money and was back on the subway in less than five minutes. Okay, so it wasn't really an interview and if anything, it was him asking me the questions. But regardless, a pleasant interaction. I suggest you all "interview" him yourselves; his cart is located at 73rd Street and Broadway, less than a block away from the Roosevelt Avenue-74th Street subway station (E, F, V, R, G and 7 trains).

new directions

so we're going to take this somewhere else. maybe. somewhere that I've been for the last few weeks (months), someplace that I've not been welcoming anyone into except myself. I'm on the cusp of an era and not really sure how to deal with it, and all the random shit that is happening in my life has taken a toll, in the sense that it's shutting me down in many ways. by the way, random shit doesn't mean all negative things; in fact there are many positive things but its the random nature of it that has me jostled. so all I can do is try to re-orient myself to a flow and take it from there. that, and write a lot more often.

chicken vs lamb

after I finished the leftovers, I had my final report for the Vendys 2006 winner, the Halal joint in Jackson Heights that I always passed up in favor of Kabab King Diner, my usual late-night spot. it was a thursday and post-medicinal session so I got off at Roosevelt Ave on the way home and figured I'd finally hit this place up.

in fact, I had loitered near the entrance to the Vendys the week before but didn't want to fork down $50 for street meat although my friends did go inside; I got the full report the next day and of course that piqued my interest. This time when I approached Sammy's cart, it was plastered with large signs about the Vendys and looked almost gaudy. But, the choices were simple, chicken over rice, lamb over rice, or combo, at $3.99, $3.99 and $4.99 respectively. I heard it was the chicken that killed it, but being the non-partisan that I am, I knew I had to get the combo in order to judge fairly the two offerings. The two guys manning the cart (not Sammy) were discussing the new signs that they were applying, full-color digital photography with the menu and were asking me which one I thought was better, the one in front, or the one to the side. I originally thought they were referring to the other cart that was to the side, Khan's Halal Meat, which was completely patron-less. Tough break, man. So when he asked me which was better, I thought he was referring to his cart versus the other cart and I said, "Hey man, you guys are the award winners so I'm sticking with you;" they cracked up when they realized my mistake and were doubled over in laughter that the other guy's meat could even compare to theirs. In any case, I got the combo (white sauce and hot sauce please) to go, picked up a naan across the street at Kebab King and hopped back on the train.

yes, this food was the shiznit. rice was basmati and properly greased yet pleasantly clumpy, salad was fresh, the chicken was incredibly tender and almost sweetly spiced, a great counterpoint to the hot sauce. the lamb was incredible; it almost tasted like they bought an entire cylinder of gyro or shawarma meat and just diced it up, then cooked it with onions and peppers. Both meats were extremely tender yet with crisped edges, perfectly spiced, some definite heat, and tasted great even the next day, since I couldn't put down more than a third of it once I got home that first night.

winner
well, there is really no winner here, both meats are so good that I would just recommend getting the combo plate if you ever go there; it would be a very very difficult choice to make otherwise. get over there before they get all corporate and start to franchise. My previous streetmeat fave, in Manhattan at least, is on the southeast corner of Broadway and 39th street (I think) but this place kicks ass.

malaysia vs malaysia

so monday took me to Penang in Elmhurst, a choice we made out sheer boredom. the fact that we could've gone to Pho Bac (my personal queens favorite; I stick with Nha Trang on baxter if I'm in manhattan) right next door was multiplied after our horrible meal where we spent $50 for 2 on bad food. it could've been our ordering choices but hey, the restaurant had over 100 items on the menu so how would you figure you ordered 5 of the worst things? Penang I used to like in high school when it was the only place around but now, you've got your Singapore Cafe (decent), your Jaya (expensive and bleah) across from Little Saigon, your Curry Leaf (actually pretty good, the breakfast is good there) in Flushing, your Nyonya (affiliated with Penang but so much better) in Little Italy, the old standby Indonesian and Malaysian Restaurant (this place is great, one of my firsts), now renamed Sanur Indonesian and Malaysian Restaurant, and all these other choices so Penang can be considered the local chain with I think 9 restaurants in the tri-state area. so it sucked.

we got the roti canai to start of course, a ripoff at $2.75. It was not that big, kinda greasy; the curry was decent though. We also got the bacon-wrapped-around-minced-shrimp-balls, but only because my friend really wanted it. Imagine dim sum food and there ya go. At least it came with a nice dipping sauce, very close to your typical walnut shrimp sauce (mayonnaise with grand marnier, etc.). We actually had been craving two things that are not on your typical malaysian menu, seafood over crispy or pan-fried noodles, and beef chow fun. These are your typical cantonese dishes (my go-to rendition for both is from 69 on Bayard) but anyway, since they were there, we ordered them instead of the typical malaysian mee goreng or chow kuei teoh or whatever. We also got the mixed vegetables.

the crispy noodles were undercooked and not the typical thin yellow noodle; more of a thin pale noodle that basically was neither wet enough nor crunchy enough to eat without having to physically grab the noodles with your fingers. it sucked. made for good leftovers in the morning though. The beef chow fun was like your typical beef chow fun; actually lots of tender beef, typically dark from the kecap manis or oyster sauce and you know, bleah and boring. the vegetables were just mixed vegetables in some sauce. boring.

anyway, we made it through, despite our terrible waitress who spilled sauce all over the table when putting down our "crispy" noodles, and decided to go for desssert. why not? the meal was a loss anyway, so we got the ABC and also the peanut pancake. The ABC was kinda good; the ice was too chunky and granular for me and the ingredients were really boring and generic; I'll take a Taiwanese "snow" shave-ice anyday, or even Filipino halo-halo. The peanut thing was the best part of the meal; they took the roti wrapper and filled it with what tasted like really chunky natural peanut butter and just pan-fried that sucker up. it was tasty. We couldn't finish the 10 lady-finger sized pieces but I took one to go as we walked out the door.

anyway, I couldn't believe that our meal sucked so much! so thank goodness a few days later, I was headed towards Skyway, a Malaysian restaurant in east east Chinatown, Canal and Allen. I was meeting my sister to give her a gift and wanted to give Malaysian cuisine the chance to redeem itself in my eyes, and I was hoping this joint would do it for me. This place has gotten really positive reviews all over the place and on Chowhound, where it really counts. it's been called the "Sripraphai of Manhattan," which doesn't really make sense to me since its not thai food but malaysian, so I'm going to start calling it the "Sripraphai of Malaysia" instead. But anyway, it was good. We had the roti canai of course and it was good. different from what I've ever had before, it was not a really thin pancake but big, but almost scallion-pancake sized and about 1/2-inch thick. Tasty, soft yet crispy, and went nicely in the curry. I gotta say, the curry was not spicy enough. We then ordered the okra with shrimp, the braised pork belly over dried veg, and the fried pearl noodles. I felt a little corny ordering all of the dishes that Robert Sietsama had reviewed and indeed, when I put away the printout I had of his review into my pocket after ordering, I looked up and there was a huge blowup of his review on the wall of the restaurant. I guess that's what you do with good press.

anyway, the okra was good; stir-fried quickly and still pod-like, mixed with dried shrimp and maybe minced pork, and shrimp, but you know, not quite spicy enough. The home-style pork was the bomb; braised and kinda dry, tasted strongly of coconut milk and served over dried vegetables seasoned a bit sweet. tasted very much like a family-style dish that my mom usually makes, steamed ground pork with preserved veg. We had enough leftovers to go around today for lunch. The noodles were pretty good but again, missing serious spice. our waitress (she seemed more like a busboy than a server) was kinda wack but it wasn't her fault; I think the other waitresses are probably much better but anyway, she hooked me up with some nice hot sauce. we got coconut rice on the side and it wasn't that good; nowhere near as rich and delicious as the ones at My Thai and Sripraphai ; maybe coconut rice ain't a malaysian thing.

winner
Skyway, not just for the flavor and feeling, but this time, we ordered right and I don't think it would have made a difference anyway, Penang is just tired, yo. Actually the menu is even bigger at Skyway so there is plenty of fodder for return visits. I wanna try a whole fried fish, maybe some of the noodle soups, some more of the fried noodles and fried rice, the fried squid, some of the casseroles, etc. As for Penang, if you're really going to go that route, at least go to Nyonya instead.

ribs (short) and crumble (pluot)

fort greene was calling me, or rather, a dinner invitation (I was invited to eat, but of course muscled my way into the kitchen) in fort greene for six, and so I made it over there, shopping bag bulging with about 12 lbs of short ribs, 5 lbs of mushrooms, a bag of pluots, 2 large lepyoshkas (imagine giant bialies without the onion in the middle, and not as yeasty) from the local russian market, and some herb(s). I was to make the second, or main, course of braised short ribs, to follow the sauteed salmon over greens that would start us off (provided by our lovely host). We'd finish with some sort of cobbler or crumble. The pluots came from my dad, yes, the latest GMO product and a cross between a plum and an apricot. Close cousin? The aprium, a cross between an apricot and a plum. Patent pending, I believe. We picked up a bag of the local variety of Brooklyn pluot along with a few leeks, some dill for the salmon, some other pantry-type stuff and off we were, three courses to be cooked between two people, in an eight-foot square kitchen. Tiny, but fun. Oh, and the drink of the night was whole citrus margaritas: out of control and absolutely delicious.

anyway, here are the recipes:

whole citrus margaritas
This recipe came from the Food Network/Michael Chiarello. It was dammmmmn good. I'm not usually a tequila fan but these were served on the rocks and definitely drunk-worthy.

herb-crusted salmon on greens
This recipe came from epicurious. good recipe, better improvisation in the execution, and a delicious starter for the meal.

braised short ribs
so get some short ribs, rinse them off, bring to room temp, trim fat if you want (but I don't recommend it), rub with salt, black pepper and white pepper, and brown in a large stockpot in olive oil with a handful of bay leaves and salt. brown on all sides until it gets nice and crusty, then remove from oil, sprinkle with paprika and let rest on plate. This will take about 20 minutes, you might have to do this in two batches if your pot isn't big enough. Anyway, leave the delicious rendered olive oil that you browned the short ribs in and add white mushrooms (cut in half) along with the tender parts of about 4 leeks. Just rip off the tough outer leaves and trim the inner core to about 2 inch lengths, no need to julienne or cut lengthwise. Anyway, add about 2 tbsps of butter and just cook down the mushroom and leeks until browned and sweated. Keep the cover off in order to allow the steam to escape. After they've cooked for about 20 minutes, the vegetables should be ready to combine with the short ribs. Remove the vegetables from the pot, and replace with all the meat, and then, top with vegetables again, effectively covering all the meat. To this, add a few garlic cloves whole, a bottle of dark beer, maybe 1/4 cup of dark rum (I used Meyer's), about 1/3 cup of ketchup, about 1/2-stick of butter, 2 tbsps of worcestershire sauce and 2 tbsps of soy sauce, 1 tbsp of dijon mustard and basically, whatever else from the kitchen or pantry that you think will taste good. Since I was at a stranger's kitchen, I asked first if they don't mind if I run up in their shit and since I got greenlighted, I was able to cook this creation. Cook on low heat for about an hour-and-a-half, alternately tasting and adding random stuff, and also keeping it covered, to sweat that meat. Total cooking time is probably about 2 hours for the whole thing, but the longer you cook the meat, the more tender it is, I'd recommend at least 3 hours on the range after combining the meat and vegetables. anyway, wherever you do, just be sure to start with the leeks and mushrooms and bay leaves and things, and then just add whatever else (you can also start with the golden trifecta of carrots, celery and onion; mirepoix as my french friends would say); it's bound to taste good as long as it ends up rich, reduced, dark brown and ready for bread-soppin'. We served this over jasmine rice.

pluot crumble
ok, this was disturbing because its a crazy GMO product and in fact, has about 30 different varieties, which is why my pluots from queens had light-colored, peach-like flesh and speckled red and orange skin, while the local brooklyn pluots we bought to supplant the dish were dark red speckled skin with dark red, plum-like flesh. Get about 4 pounds total, peel and pit the fruit, to this, add golden raisins, about 6 pieces of candied ginger julienned, 1 cup of brown sugar, 1/4 cup of flour, 1 tbsp of cinnamon, 1 tsp of cloves, 1 tsp of ground ginger and 2 tbps of honey. This just for the bottom of the crumble. Pour all of this into a glass baking dish and then top with the crumble mixture, which is 3/4 cup of oats, 1/4 cup of white sugar, 2 tbsp ground ginger, 1 tsp of baking powder, 1-stick of butter (chopped into small cubes and added to the dry ingredients), 1/2 cup of flour. basically, it should be relatively dry as you mix it and should just form 1/4" diameter balls of crumb (don't worry about getting it too even or incorporated). I'm not too sure about the proportions, but you'll figure it out. Anyway, cover the fruit with this, about 1/4" thick and bake in a preheated oven for 40 minutes at 350-375. A helpful tip is to place some tinfoil in the rack below the crumble because the fruit mixture usually bubbles over and its a bitch to clean an oven. Remove when the topping gets nice and brown and let sit for at least 30 minutes, just to cool off a bit. We ate this with vanilla ice cream and are proud to say, we made a hybrid crumble out of hybrid fruits! scary.

alcohol
oh and we drank three bottles of wine and I don't remember anything about them except one was a cabernet from somewhere, there was a bottle of falanghina (white wine, yummy) and some tasty chardonnay (2003). this, mixed with the cocktail hour margaritas (made with a delicious tequila) plus a six-pack of yuengling black and tan made for a drunken evening.

anyway, go forth and buy your own short ribs and clean out that pantry! it's an easy, and extremely satisfying meal.

filipino meat recap

oh, just a quick rundown, I love this place and will big it up no matter what. So: to Woodside's Ihawan, big up yourself! You provide the finest in filipino bbq, and you provide to me (and also Ron Artest) with the finest. My out-of-town friend, with whom we decimated downtown elmhurst's indonesian and thai restaurants (not really) earlier, figured she needed that one last pork fix before she headed back to the land of the morning calm, so last sunday was filipino bbq day. Or, more specifically, delicious day.

we ordered a few sticks of pork bbq, a filet of chicken bbq, paksiw na lechon (pork belly cooked in liver sauce), a few inihaw na talong (grilled eggplant) with bagoong(fermented shrimp paste), laing (taro leaves cooked in coconut milk) and a few avocado shakes. I totally forgot to order the longanisa (stupid stupid stupid!) but I think we did well. the pork and chicken bbq is always out of control; perfectly seasoned and grilled, sweet, delicious, everything right. The pork belly turned out to be roasted or fried, and then cooked down in the sweet perfection that is filipino liver sauce (get mang tomas if you're shopping at the phil-am grocery across the street). The eggplant was grilled perfection and incomplete without the fermented shrimp paste. The greens were soft but deep with flavor, perfect counterpart to the grilled meats. And the avocado shake, as always, out of control. Served unmixed, its sweet avocado on the bottom of a parfait glass, topped with shaved ice and then condensed milk. Its up to you to stir it up, and its delicious.

anyway, this block is hot (and known as Queen's Little Manila) since you've got Krystal's on the other end of the block, Perlas Na Silangan across the street (apparently named for a 1969 action movie of the same name, and in between, Renee's Kitchenette & Grille (with a newly renovated second floor and a buffet that I've yet to try, and Sally's Place (new on the block, 718-205-1155, looks pretty good), but out of all these, I always go back to Ihawan. Other times, I'll order the kare-kare (oxtail and tripe cooked with string beans and eggplant in a thick peanut sauce), the crispy pata (whole fried pig knuckle) or the dinuguan (pork parts and entrails cooked in pig's blood and liver), sometimes known as "chocolate meat". Whatever you get, it'll be guaranteed tasty. Only problem is, the place tends to close early, so be sure to call ahead if you are headed out there, just to make sure they'll be open.

china vs tibet

ok, sorry for the misleading headline, this is NOT a restaurant review of a battle between a chinese restaurant and a tibetan restaurant that is fought between my chopsticks. this is the craziest thread I've ever read. without even getting into the video itself, I think the comments are much more interesting.